Today I had the best scrambled eggs of.  My.  Life.

This is especially interesting considering the fact that I am kind of in an egg-adverse stage right now.  Does anyone else go through those?  I swear, I either love them and can eat them every meal or I can’t stand even thinking about the taste or texture.

So while I was cooking them, it was just about as appetizing as stirring around a big ol’ panful of dog food.

But them I tasted them.  Zomgguys.

It’s funny – for years I’ve heard that there is a “right way” and “wrong way” to cook scrambled eggs.  That they should be fluffy and moist and blah blah blah – all in one ear and out the other.  And then I would just whip up a couple large suckers with some water and all my spices, dump them into a pan on high heat and have a bowl of chewy rubbery nonsense in 3 minutes flat.

Now that I know the secret, I’ll never go back.

And to top it off, I treated myself EVEN FURTHER by adding a little cheese to my eggs.  First cheese in…hrm I don’t know how long.  And it was sooo worth it.

Better Scrambled Eggs

• 2 Eggs
• Splash Water, Milk, or Heavy Cream
• Salt, Pepper, Spices

Step 1: Heat a bit of oil (I used 1 tsp of Coconut) in your pan on medium LOW heat.  Yes, low.  I have a stovetop that ranges from 1-10, and I put mine on a 3.

Step 2: Crack your eggs in the pan, as though you were making fried eggs.  Add your splash of water or other liquid.  Let it sit for about a minute undisturbed.

Step 3: Scramble your eggs a bit.  I used a wire whisk, not a spatula.

Initial Scramble

Step 4: Every so often, whisk your eggs a bit.  I know, this is getting really complicated.  Do this until your eggs are evenly cooked, fluffy, and fabulous.

Step 5: AT THE VERY END OF COOKING, season your eggs.  Gordon Ramsey insists that this is the way to go: if you salt and season your eggs at the beginning of cooking, the salt will break down the eggs and make them watery.

If you were to add cheese, you could do so now.  I used a soft cheese called Quark and just stirred it into the warm eggs once they were plated (or…bowled).

Optional but highly recommended step: McIlhenney’s Mild Salsa all over that eggy, cheesy goodness.  You won’t regret it.

—————–

Dinner was unconventional, I know.  Just bear with me.

Upon Mum’s request, French Toast was prepared.  High protein French Toast.

Yes, this had dairy in it too.  And protein powder.  But this ain’t anything I’m going to worried about tomorrow .

In trying to figure out what to top these babies with, I had a bit of a dilemma.  Everything has so much sugar.  Or fake sugar.

Yea, I was dying to dump that Sugar-Free (and highly processed) Maple Syrup all over these suckers.  With some butter, too.

I didn’t have any fresh fruit or Real Maple Syrup (which would have been playing with fire…)

So I had a small amount of Xylitol Syrup (this picture is from a previous French Toast experience, where I used MUCH more).

I feel guilty.  But should I?

Probably not.

——————

As far as fitness goes, today HIIT was on the schedule.  I got up and completed my rope-jumping right away but unfortunately have felt really miserable for the rest of the day.  An almost immediate headache, nausea, dizziness, and generally crappy-all-over feeling.  I took a 30 minute walk after jumping rope and unfortunately noticed the prickly itchiness on my thighs, stomach, back, and calves.

This makes me nervous that even a simple 8 minute HIIT session is enough to trigger my Anaphalaxia.  Not cool .  It might just be exaserbated by the crappy weather and seasonal allergies.  Regardless, it’s a bummer.  I don’t know how even short term cardio can make me feel this way, but I can go bang out a sweaty 45 minutes of lifting and it has no effect on me whatsoever.  Random!

——————

What else did I do today?  Other than work:

I made Oopsie Rolls (for French Toast dinner)

I made Son of Grok’s Paleo BBQ Sauce (for ribs this weekend – sweet Lawdy it’s like liquid gold!)

I made Orange-Scented Body Butter.

I ate.   A lot.

Well, not a lot.  But a bit of dark chocolate and probably a couple of oz of Almonds.

And then I made this.  Whoops

The caloric load of this “Paleo Cereal” was probably much more than I want to know.  Yea, I didn’t count it – I’m being lazy/fearful.

But I was hungry!  I’m not used to being hungry! My body is going through a HUGE shift right now – it’s becoming really clear to me that my body refuses to survive on so few calories when I’m working out so heavily.  So a good calorically dense Paleo Cereal was what my body decided it wanted .  Though I’m a little worried about how much it added to my day, I am slowly chilling out for a few reasons:

1) I was actually physically hungry.  Duh.

2) It was all paleo approved foods (for anyone interested, it was about a TB of Raw Sunflower Seeds, a TB of Raw Pepitas, about 10 Blanched Almonds, 3 Frozen Strawberries, a small handful of Mixed Berries (Blueberries, Raspberries, and Blackberries), and some Almond Milk with Cinnamon)

3) It quenched a desire for “real” cereal, which I’ve been musing about for a few weeks now.

So yayyy positives outweigh the negatives!

——————

So I’m a bit confused/grumpy about all this calorie nonsense.  Now I’m starting to think that some of my binging last week was also due to the fact that my body is just so hungry!  I’m going to have to bump up my daily calorie aim and have some more protein.  All I know is that it’s nearly 8:00, my brain is on a sugar buzz from just a couple of TB Xylitol Syrup and a bite or so of pineapple (went into my BBQ Sauce), and I’m stuffed to the max.  I’m already feeling the bloating/swelling in my stomach, so I have a feeling I’m not going to be looking my best tomorrow, which bums me out because I was finally getting back to normal.  As far as my “feeling guilty” comment I made earlier, I just might have to retract that statement.  I guess I just can’t swing these non-meat-and-veggie meals .

So within this post I pretty much went over what I did and what I ate!  Back to the traditional “Dailies” post tomorrow – I was very bad about tallying my cals today.  Bad girl.

It’s not even that exciting or edge-of-your-seat.  In fact, the big “secret ingredient” reveal and the crowning of the winner are really the only two exciting parts.  But for some reason, I’m drawn in night after night.

Holy crap.  The secret ingredient is American Kobe Beef.  Sooo gooodddd.

Children often develop odd fascinations for certain shows.  Unfortunately for my poor Mum, I shied away from the “Rugrats” and such and instead decided that I LOVED Iron Chef.  The original.  In Japanese.  Poor woman had to watch many, many episodes highlighting the delights of Sea Urchin Roe .

In more recent memory, while eating dinner I was casually flipping through a grocery store sales flier that I found on the countertop.  I remember when I used to grab one from each local store and immediately flip to the Frozen Foods section, eager to see which frozen dinner brand would be on sale.  Mum and I would compare prices, decide if we wanted Lean Cuisine Lasagna or Smart Ones Ravioli, and head off to the store to fill our carts with a weeks worth of frozen breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Crazy how things change, huh?

Another thing I was thinking as I was eating dinner:  I need to start taking more pictures for this blog.  Pictures of meals, recipes, ect.  But then I remembered that my mid-afternoon snack was simply strips of bacon and I looked down at my dinner, the remainder of a Chipotle Burrito bowl that was just a greenish-brown mess, and quickly changed my mind .

It seriously bums me out that Chipotle cooks everything in soy oil.  What the heck are they thinking?  It nearly nullifies the point.  Regardless, I love Chipotle.  As I stood in line and fondly remembered my college-days order (Burrito, Rice, Beans, Chicken, Cheese, Extra Cheese, Sour Cream….probably Extra Sour Cream ) it almost made me bummed to get my new go-to: Steak (boy do they get confused when you exasperatedly say “NO BEANS NO RICE!”), Extra Steak, Fajita Vegetables, Lettuce, Green Tomatillo Salsa, and Guacamole.  I sadly watch as my parents order bowls topped with cheese and sour cream.

And then I get home and dive into my bowl and forget all of my worries.  It’s like Heaven in my mouth .  I’m more than a good month into being dairy free (for the most part), and I never expected it to be this easy.  Or this delicious!

—————————-

Lactic Acid Training Day 2 was completed today.  I was being rather lazy this morning and couldn’t drag myself out of bed, so I had to delay it even further until after I took the dog out.  I was a bit worried that my laziness would carry through to my workout, but I pushed myself throughout and was pleased to feel the beads of sweat rolling down my face.

Today’s workout contained some ab-related exercises, which I found odd and cumbersome in a Lactic Acid Workout.  For example, I had a lot of trouble taking 4-5 seconds to slowly raise my legs for Garhammer Raises.  It looks easy enough, but it’s just so awkward to try and move your body like that.  I also had difficulty with Hanging Leg Raises (again, 5 seconds up, 1 second down), but that was mostly due to the fact that I couldn’t get my Pull Up Station far enough away from the wall.

Other than that, an excellent workout!  This one had a great balance of lower and upper body exercises, and I was feeling it throughout!

—————————-

I honestly can’t believe that another month has passed.  I set some lofty goals and expectations for myself in the beginning of March.  Unfortunately, this has been my most difficult month in the past year.  Stress, emotional trauma, and weak self restraint and self esteem caused more bingeing than I could have ever imagined.  Though I feel like I wasted a lot of time and took several steps back when I so easily could have made such great strides, facing all of my demons and confronting myself has me convinced that this next month will be full of excellent progress .

—————————-

Daily Training

Lactic Acid Training #2

Daily Meals

To many diehard Paleo followers, saying the “V” word is just about as appealing as taking a bite of a PB and J sandwich.

As a foodie and blog surfer, however, I get a lot of inspiration from Vegans.  Considering they don’t use dairy, it’s easy to find a lot of great recipes for sauces, dips, and desserts.

Yes, desserts.  That’s what we’re here to talk about.

Just like there are an unfortunate number of low-carb Atkins followers who decide that the diet is their excuse to eat bacon, heavy cream, cheese sauces, ect all day without even looking twice at a vegetable, there are an unfortunate number of Vegans whose blogs and lifestyles are based on sugary treats, huge bowls of grains, and worst of all, soy products.

But there are some, in my opinion, who are getting it right.  There’s a good number of Vegans, Raw Vegans even, who have many excellent recipes that shun processed sugars and include all real, healthful ingredients.  Some mentionable blogs that come to mind are OhSheGlows, Pure2Raw, and Chocolate Covered Katie.

So today, I made a veritable plethora of treats.  With the honey-roasted peanuts, muffins, sugared walnuts, ice cream, chocolate, cookies, oats, and other culprits all lying around the house, my willpower is constantly tempted.  And though I get better at resisting every day, I eventually want to be at a place where I don’t “cheat” with processed foods.  Instead, I want to incorporate healthy unprocessed snacks into my everyday life.  So I’ve created a nice buffer for myself to be able to treat myself every day (or every other day) and not break the bank.  And after another day of good, meaty, clean foods, I’ll be happy to have something a little tasty that I can eat to make my mind and belly happy .

———————-

Raw Chocolate Chip Cookie Bites

Makes 12 TB-sized balls

Adapted from Pure2Raw

Cookie Ingredients

• 1/2 Cup Coconut Flour
• 1/4 Cup Sunflower Seeds, Soaked and Rinsed
• 1/4 Cup Pepitas (Pumpkin Seeds), Soaked and Rinsed
• 2 TB Sweetener (I used 1 TB Raw Honey, 1 TB Xylitol Maple Syrup)
• 2 tsp Vanilla Extract
• 1 tsp melted Coconut Oil
• 15 g Chocolate Chips (I used Ghiradelli Bittersweet, chopped)

Cocoa Shell Ingredients (I halved the girls’ recipe)

• 2.5-3 TB melted Coconut Oil
• 1/2 tsp Vanilla Extract
• 1 – 2 TB Sweetener (I used 1 tsp Honey, 2 tsp Xylitol Maple Syrup, and 1/3 – 1/2 packet of Stevia)
• 3 TB Cocoa Powder (I use Rapunzel Organic Cocoa Powder, which is unprocessed/unalkalized)

For the “Cookies” :

If need be, make coconut flour by gently pulsing unsweetened coconut flakes in a food processor.  I used Tropical Traditions Coconut Chips, and it took about 1 cup of flakes to give me 1/2 cup of flour.  Again, pulse gently, checking very often.  If you process the flakes too much they’ll turn to coconut butter!

In a food processor (I used my Magic Bullet, which worked fine), combine seeds, coconut flour, sweetener, vanilla, and coconut oil.

Dump the resultant “dough” into a bowl.

I've just now realized that I once again used my classy Dino Bowl. Great.

Add your chocolate chips and stir to combine.

Using a spoon or tablespoon, scoop up the dough and roll it in your hands to form balls.  Place the balls on a parchment-lined baking pan and place in the fridge or freezer for 5-15 minutes, while you make the chocolate shell.

For the Cocoa Shell:

Again, I halved the original recipe and was able to make more than enough chocolate to cover all mah balls

Melt the coconut oil.  Add to it the cocoa powder, sweetener, and vanilla.

Grab your balls from the freezer and dip them in the chocolate mixture, rolling to cover.  Place the chocolatey balls back on the parchment paper and transfer to the freezer again.  I keep these babies in the freezer for optimum tastiness.

*Optional – I couldn’t help myself – of course I added a pinch of sea salt to the top of each ball.  Sweet and salty joy

———————-

Raw Snickerdoodle “Babies”

Makes 14 small (think marble-sized) balls

From Chocolate Covered Katie

• 30 grams Raw, Unsalted Almonds (mine were Blanched)
• 80 grams Dates
• Good pinch of Salt
• 1/4 tsp Vanilla Extract
• 1/4 tsp Cinnamon (I doubled Katie’s recommendation – I love cinnamon )

As you can probably see, this is a simple variation from a Larabar recipe.  I’ve never had a Larabar, but have always wondered if that tiny bar is worth the price.  Thankfully, Katie has come up with a plethora of recipes that can satisfy any sweet tooth, from gingerbread to chocolate to pumpkin pie “babies”, as she calls them.  Much cheaper and much more gratifying than buying that little tiny bar!

Anyways, blend everything together in a food processor.  I used the Magic Bullet short cup.  The Bullet was so freaking loud, I was like “this better be worth it”.

Oh…boy.  It was worth it.  These things are joy in my mouth.

Once you blend all your ingredients together, dump it all out in a bowl and mush it together into balls.

———————-

Fudge “Babies”

Makes 14 small (think marble-sized) balls

From Chocolate Covered Katie

• 30 grams Raw, Unsalted Almonds (mine were Blanched)
• 80 grams Dates
• 5 grams (1 T) Cocoa Powder
• Pinch Coffee Granules

Repeat recipe instructions above.  Simple enough .

I added a small pinch of coffee granules to my dough, because I’ve always heard that coffee really brings out the notes in chocolate.  Well, my coffe brought out the notes of…coffee haha.  So these are more expresso-cocoa “babies”, if you will.

———————-

Dairy-Free Strawberry Ice Cream

Makes about 3 Cups Ice Cream

From Elana’s Pantry

• 1 can (13.5 oz) Full-Fat Coconut Milk
• 10 oz Organic Frozen Strawberries
• 1/4 Cup Sweetener (I used 1 TB Honey and 1 TB Xylitol Maple Syrup, but I also halved the recipe)
• 1 TB Vanilla Extract
• 1/4 tsp Vanilla Beans (optional – I didn’t have them but wish I did.  They would have been lovely )

Blend ingredients in food processor (as always, used my trusty Magic Bullet)

If you have an ice cream maker, just pour in your mixture and process according to instructions.

If you DO NOT have an ice cream maker, fear not!  Here’s how I made mine-

Pour the mixture into a baking tray or pie plate.  I used a glass pie plate, which worked well.

Put the mixture in the freezer.  In 20-30 minutes, check the mixture and break up the frozen corners/top with a spoon.  Whisk or blend the mixture again, breaking up the ice crystals until the mixture is uniform again.  I simply hand-whisked my mixture, but I’m sure using an electric mixer would work even better here!

Return the mixture to the fridge and continue to check every half an hour or so, repeating the whisking process until the mixture is hard to whisk and resembles ice cream.

Transfer the ice cream to a freezer-friendly container and store.

A much more appealing picture to come. Promise .

———————-

And now what everyone is waiting for: the verdict!

I won’t lie to you.  I haven’t really eaten any of the finished product .  But in making everything today, I’m sure I had enough bites and spoon-licks to tell you what the deal is

The Raw Chocolate Chip Cookie Bites might become a staple here.  They’re incredibly easy to make and much easier on the calorie budget than the smaller Cookie “Babies”.  Plus, they’re covered in chocolate.  I mean…come on.

The Snickerdoodle Babies…wow.  These things are good.  Very, very sweet and spicy.  Too sweet, almost, which is great because it makes savoring a tiny bit like eating a piece of candy.

The Fudge Babies are not as “fudgey” as I anticipated.  They have a mellow, chocolatey-coffee flavor which would be good if you were in the mood.  Overall, I’m a bigger fan of the Snickerdoodles though.

The Ice Cream is very interesting.  I’m pleasantly surprised.  It’s a bit high in carbs, which I’m not crazy about, but it’s extremely rich and decadent so a small amount is more than enough to be refreshing.

The staple ice cream of the house has been Breyer’s “Carb Smart”, which is sweetened with sucralose and asparteme and loaded with a laundry list of unpronounceable ingredients.  And even though it’s lower in carbs and calories than this coconut milk ice cream, it’s “emptier” in taste and nutrients.  Whereas one spoonful of a coconut milk ice cream is satisfying and dense with flavor, the processed ice cream kind of tastes like…nothing.  A couple bites in, you finally get that vanilla bean taste in your mouth.

This strawberry ice cream still has a hint of coconut milk to it, which I find pleasant.  I am really interested in making other flavors of ice cream with coconut and almond milk.  I don’t know when I’ll make this strawberry ice cream again since it’s so high in carbs, but when I do make it I would LOVE to add the vanilla beans and some fresh basil to the mix.  That would be an amazing summer ice cream, if I do say so myself .

And as a bonus for you all, here’s the nutritional stats of these bad boys:

Raw Chocolate Chip Cookies

Snickerdoodle “Babies”

Fudge “Babies”

Strawberry Coconut Ice Cream (per 1/4 Cup)

First of all, I’ve been insanely busy with work, so it’s been a little more difficult for me to update.

Second of all, I have a recipe for a Paleo Calzone that is 95% completed, that I’ll be sure to post ASAP!

Let’s take this in three steps: Fitness, Food, and Health/Well-Being.

Fitness

Yesterday I completed Density Training #2.  Honestly, I was glad to get it over the first day of the week .  Especially when I saw those Alternating Jump Lunges on the menu.  For all the bitchin and moaning that was going on in my head, it really wasn’t that bad of a workout.  It was great, in fact!

Today was just a good ol’ Dynamic Training.  In general, these trainings are just so much easier to follow than the others.  There’s nothing to worry about other than completing a certain number of reps – you don’t have the added stress of working against a clock or timing the cadence of your lifts.  This workout was structured well, too – there were three circuits overall: Circuit A (4 exercises), which was completed 3 times, Circuit B (4 exercises), which was completed 1 time, and Circuit C (3 exercises), which was also completed 3 times.  I know, it doesn’t sound particularly interesting, but the variety was a good change.

In spite of some nutritional/health setbacks (to be discussed), the musculature of my body is really changing.  I know, again, it sounds very premature to say this.  But I am definitely more solid throughout.  My hamstrings and glutes are becoming really defined, as is my upper body.  And my core is more solid than it has ever been, which I attribute almost exclusively to stomach vacuums.

Nutrition

I’ve been trying hard to stick to my own dietary program, but this week has already been a huge struggle.  I (again) learned my lesson to NOT HAVE ALMOND BUTTER IN THE HOUSE.  I went through an extremely traumatic issue on Sunday and Monday that was probably one of the most uncomfortable and difficult things I’ve ever had to deal with in my life.  And being your poster child for emotional eating, there I sat on the kitchen counter, shaking like a leaf, with a jar of Almond Butter in one hand and a spoon in the other.

Honestly, I could have done worse to myself.  The only problem with ridding the pantry of everything but “healthy” foods is that the only I could grab to eat was something so calorie dense I easily consumed all of my weekly calorie budget in a matter of a half an hour.  I truly feel like I can’t beat myself up for it though, there are some things in life that you just deal with as they come.  The issue is done and over now, it won’t be cropping up again, so I can breathe a sigh of relief and just get on with my life.

Today was a different case – this one I am taking full blame upon myself .

Combined with everything else, I’m having a really difficult time this week with the Paleo diet.  Some days I just really, really, really don’t want to eat meat.  I would seriously kill for a bowl of oatmeal.

Has anyone ever felt like that?

I think I just get so fed up and satiated with all of it – with planning meals, with reading the forums, with everything – that I would rather eat the bottom of a shoe than another serving of soup or chicken and broccoli.  It’s enough to make me nauseous.

So today I had a bowl of quinoa for lunch, with some banana mashed in it. I did this thinking that it wouldn’t be too bad…but WHOMP WHOMP, I was wrong.  I gots that pregnant-at-nine-months belly going on now.  Even hours after eating it.  I know this can sometimes be stressful, and sometimes I don’t want to eat and feel a ton of pressure to stay on track and eat something I’d rather not…but I really have to start listening to my body and common sense.  I don’t care what the fuck I’ve written down for the day ahead of me: if I decide at 12 pm that I would rather walk barefoot through hot coals than eat another bowl of soup, then I’m going to have some bacon.  Or a protein shake.  Can you tell I’m a little fed up with this ?

I think I’m having a hard time for two other reasons as well:

1) The intensity of my workouts is making me hungrier than since I can last remember and than I’ve been expecting.

2) I’m also having a hard time with fasting recently.  Some days I just really miss breakfast.  I think this is a small blip in my radar, and will probably go back to just getting hungry around 12-1 PM in a couple days.

So overall, for the past 3-4 days I’d give my Fitness a 10/10, and my Nutrition a 3/10.

Tomorrow is a new day, though.  Hopefully I’ll have my appetite for soup back then .

Health/Well-Being

So as I’ve said before, I’m feeling much more “solid” than I have been in the past few months…or years…or ever.  This is very exciting to me!

What is not exciting, however, is my inability to lose weight.

I have been “dieting” – IE, eating healthy, unprocessed foods, for about a year.  And using food scales, measurements, and food diaries.  Though I’ve gone through periods where I’ve tried different calorie levels, I know my limits of what I

I know I’ve had slip ups.  And I don’t underestimate the caloric devestation of things like Almond Butter.  But more than 90% of the time or more, I am eating clean diet with a calorie deficit, a surplus of good fats, and little to no nuts, fruits, or dairy (no dairy at all).

But, for the life of me, sometimes I just feel like I cannot lose these last 10 lbs.

I get so frustrated and fed up when I see people on Bodybuilder.com who are have the ability to change their lives in a matter of weeks, or do Body for Life and just look amazing,  or the people in the Primal Diet forum who so seamlessly lose weight and cure their bodies and have all the energy in the universe.

This is a real bummer statement, but it’s gotten to a point where all of the forum posts and the success stories are upsetting me rather than inspiring me.  So that (along with the fact that some of these forum posts are just pissing me off, to tell you the truth) is a reason why I’m stepping back from the MDA forums for a bit.

With the amount of work I’ve put into diet and exercise over the past year, I honestly, honestly feel that I should look how I want to look by now.  And I should feel great.

Sooo it’s probably time that I finally address, both here and to myself, the fact that I have some serious underlying health issues that simply “going Primal” has yet to remedy.

It goes without saying that I have some really bad hormonal problems.  I still highly suspect that I have Endometriosis (my idiot Gyno refused to test me for it), and I am controlling a mild case of PCOS with hormonal birth control pills.  Please don’t read me the riot act about this.  I know it’s essentially poison to my body and it’s probably a huge hindrance to my success, but I’m taking it until I can figure out what I can possibly do next.  So hello estrogen and insulin imbalances – I have some big issues.  That’s one of the reasons I’m so excited about Final Phase Fat Loss!

Something I haven’t talked about yet on here…and something I really don’t want to discuss, to be honest – is the fact that I have a serious digestive disease/disorder that has been plaguing me since I was in grade school.  And I guess what I was kind of thinking was….well, I’ve lived my life like this for more than a decade, I’ll just get in great shape and still be sick.  I’ll look freakin sweet, but still be sick.

If this sounds crazy to you, you must understand that this is the mindset of a chronically ill person who has “never felt well” their entire life.  It’s not like I put my health on the backburner.  It’s the fact that when you’ve been to every doctor, naturopath, and clinic with no results and tried every medication, over the counter drug, and naturopathic remedy since the third or fourth grade – all with no results, there’s a point where you’re 24 years old and you just say “fuck it”.

That being said, I have an appointment with a really good gastroenterologist, so I’m really hoping I can finally get a diagnosis of what’s been wrong with me for so long.  I put so much energy and effort into eating good food, and it just makes me want to cry when I know for a fact that I’m not digesting anything or getting any nutrients.  I swear to God I’m the only person I know or have read about that is malnourished but carrying extra weight.  With the number of things wrong with my digestive tract I’m surprised I’m not skinny as a rail .

Why am I sharing all of this?  Honestly I don’t want to.  This is my personal business, and obviously I don’t want to start a discussion about my digestive health.  No person in their right mind would :p.  So please don’t take this the wrong way – I’m not asking for anyone’s pity or advice.  I feel uncomfortable enough writing about this as it is .

I’m just trying to be honest with myself about what kind of progress I can attain with a broken body.  And mainly…this is shameful…I want to put this out there so if I post pictures of myself after a month and I look exactly the same, you all don’t think I’m a big slacker .  Because after all this hype and hooplah and daily schedules and food diaries and bullshit, it’s really difficult for me to not see any “physical” progress and put myself out there on the web as a “success story”.

Ok.  TMI-laden post over.  It’s a lot to take in – sorry folks.  Damn – I never knew starting a blog would lead to all of this.

Tomorrow I’ll be back with my daily schedule, meals and such.  And much more lighthearted, promise

But even after a bowlful of chicken I was still having awful dizzy spells.  I almost went down a couple of times.  So I decided to have a good handful of almonds and later grabbed a banana to get some good potassium in my body – I’m glad I did.  Though I try and avoid heavy carbs and fruits (especially bananas) in this weight-loss phase, I don’t regret this decision whatsoever.  Banana sugar/carbs > not nourishing your body to the point of a black-out.

Plus, the banana was amazing

Dinner was chili.  And by chili, I mean ground beef, spices, and tomato sauce.  It’s funny – I keep telling my Mum that there are other ways to make a paleo chili.  You can throw all sorts of stuff in there for variety, taste, and texture.  But what we’ve settled on and continuously return to is our old chili recipe minus the beans.  Oh well…at least it tastes delicious!

I had my “chili” over some spaghetti squash, which was really enjoyable.  It was like spaghetti with meat sauce.  The natural sweetness of the spaghetti squash really complimented the spicy chili, so this simple meal was a win in my book!

The only problem is I ate relatively early, so I’m hoping I don’t get too hungry throughout the rest of the night.  I already went over what I budgeted for food today, so unless I’m absolutely physically famished I’m going to try to avoid eating more.  I already am head-hungry – it’s all in my mind – and I’m only hungry for sugar and sweets.  So it would probably be best for me to go brush my teeth right now .

————–

Did HIIT this morning, not following my normal methods but instead using Romaniello’s suggested schedule.  Don’t know if it worked better than Peak 8, but I was done in half the time (7:30 sec) so I wasn’t complaining .  Though now that I’m writing this and thinking about it…I wonder if the HIIT is what caused my dizzy spell?  Hm….

Hmmmk so now it’s 8:15 and I’m craving carbs and sugar like a muthaf*&$#r.  I’m not hungry, I know I’m not.  I just watched the Food Network though (whoops) and my brain decided that chocolate and caramel needs to be consumed ASAP.  I refuse to give in though!  It’s going to be a longgggg night …..

————–

Daily Schedule

Daily Training

HIIT – Jump Rope

Daily Meals

Monday – “Oooh!  I’m already a little sore!  Cool!”

Tuesday - Post workout – “Oh boy, I already feel it in my back and shoulders.  I’m gonna be sore later!”

Wednesday – “I’m feelin’ it now!”

Thursday – “Wow, it’s like every day, I’m starting to feel the musculature of a different part of my body – this is neat!”

Thursday Night, 3:00 AM – “HOLY S&$T I FEEL LIKE I GOT HIT BY A SEMI TRUCK!”

Friday AM - “GOOD LORD I THINK THE SEMI BACKED OVER ME”

Somehow managed to get through the Strength Training #1, despite barely being able to get out of bed.  As you can see from the schedule, I slept right through my alarm (thank God I work from home) due to the fact that I woke up about 5 times in the middle of the night.

Interestingly enough, once I was working out I started feeling less sore.  Though I did tweak one of my knees a bit, so I slapped some Icy-Hot on that bad boy and took an ibuprofen right away.

Strength Training was interesting.  This one took me less time, about 30-35 minutes.  I used the heaviest piece of equipment I had, a 35 lb Kettlebell.  Using this reloadable Kettlebell, however, is certainly different from picking up a 35 lb barbell or dumbbell.  It’s way more unwieldy, and the center of gravity is much different, so I can assume that it’s a bit more difficult to handle than bells or bars.

Overall, I’m pretty sore right now.  Hopefully this will be alleviated a bit next week, even though I’ll push myself hard the whole time.

The thing I’ve noticed that has been different is after a week of intense exercise and clean eating, I’m feeling really good about myself.  Even if I didn’t lose a fraction of a pound of fat – Hell, even if I gained 10 lbs of pure chub, I’m feeling great.  Last week, I waddled around feeling like crap the whole time for making some poor food choices.  I was very conscious of my boated belly.  I felt doughy.  I felt fat.  This week, I’m obviously much more aware of every muscle in my body than the extra inches of pudge.  I feel much more solid and compact.  It’s like the core of my body, all this strength, is slowly overwhelming the fatty bits.  I know it sounds a little too good to be true one week in, but for the intensity and focus I’m putting into this program I feel like it’s starting to pay off even this early!

AND, to boot, my skinny jeans feel a little loser already!  I don’t know if I can attribute this to the age of my jeans or the size of my waist, but I’m just going to be excited about it anyways!

——————

Food today was good.  Friday is always a little battle because it seems to be the one day I crave meat more than any other .  Dinner isn’t bad, but fitting something into lunch – other than eggs, which are kind of making me feel gross inside – is difficult.

I was planning on fasting today until dinner and having a couple of extra servings of BCAAs.  But considering that two more servings of BCAAs might make me want to jump out of my bedroom window or curl up in a ball and cry, I decided against it.  I was feeling a rumble inside of me telling me that not eating could cause a sugar binge, so I took a smarter route and skipped the extra BCAAs for a protein shake.  Hopefully the dairy in the whey won’t mess me up too much.  Had a very simple shake – just Whey, a touch of Almond Milk, tons of Ice, and an added TB of Xylitol Syrup (which made a big diff).  Oh, and some Coffee.  So good.  Very glad I did this.  I love eating all real, whole food, but a good quality Whey Protein is great in a pinch.

For dinner, I made some fish.  For the first time EVER.  I have just recently tried a couple bites of fish (upon moving to Annapolis) and I’ve always been skeptical about it.  All I’d ever had before was canned tuna and (also recently) Ahi Tuna.  I had my first bites of white fish at a local restaurant – heavily battered, of course .  Fish and chips is awesome.  My version was simply rolled in some almond meal, and some lemon and pesto was later added on top.  The pesto was great with the fish, but I wouldn’t say it was maximum deliciousness – unfortunately it was a piece of frozen fish (blasphemy, I know) that I was just trying to get rid of….and it kind of came out chewy .  I don’t think that’s the texture of good cod.  The good news is that I have an amazing fresh fish market within walking distance of my home, so I’ll be headed there next Friday!

———————

Daily Schedule

Daily Training

Final Phase Fat Loss – Strength Training #1

Daily Meals

Rounding 2 PM today, I realized I wasn’t at all hungry so I decided to just fast until dinner.  BUT, my plans were thwarted by my Mum, who was making batches upon batches of “Healthy Cookies”.  So I was just sitting there, waiting for a cup of coffee to brew, with the most delicious smells of cinnamon and baked goods wafting through my kitchen.  And I had a bowl of dough sitting on one side of me and a batch of freshly baked cookies on the other side.  And after about 10 minutes I just couldn’t help myself…..I scooped up some batter .  Bad, bad Erin.

On one hand, I shouldn’t have eaten that.  But on the other hand, I only had about a (small) cookie’s worth.  And they’re mostly made of really healthy things – just banana, pumpkin, coconut oil, coconut flakes, almond meal, a little dark chocolate and….ugh….rolled oats.  I mean, I probably had less than a TB of oats, so I’m not too worried.  At least it wasn’t a real sugar-and-white-flour cookie!

I stopped at that one cookie.  But that one cookie triggered a sugar rush almost immediately.  So, like a sugar zombie, I immediately traipsed over to the cabinet to grab my achille’s heel – the Honey Roasted (ie – sugar & HFCS) Peanuts.   And they…were gone!  That trixy Mum must have hidden them from me!  So I’m sitting here with a tremendous sense of relief now, knowing that if I had found them (and yes, I did look – tore the freakin house apart in a frenzy, thinking “that bitch!”) I would easily be 500 calories fuller with 100% non-primal peanuts.  So yay!  Thanks Mumma!

Dinner was great.  Might have eaten a bit more chicken and asparagus than noted.  So this is me being accountable for that here .

————–

Good Lord, if there’s three words I never want to hear/participate in again, they’re “Alternating Jump Lunges”.  Ughhhhhhh.  I barely can do these suckers.  10 seconds in I end up looking like a newborn deer trying to get up for the first time.

So far, I’ll have to say Density Training #1 has been the least favorite of the trainings .  Most of this is due to the fact that I got all tripped up on the rest periods, forgot to write down how many reps I did for my first set, and messed up my weights by going WAY too heavy on a couple of sets (which made me sacrifice precious time in the very rigid schedule).  Still, I pushed myself to the max, so I can’t be disappointed with the outcome.

Tomorrow I have Strength Training #1, and I’m a little worried that I don’t have weights heavy enough to complete some of the exercises.  Hm.  I’ll just have to load the ol’ Kettlebell up and try and make it happen.

————-

Daily Schedule

Daily Training

Final Phase Fat Loss – Density Training #1

Daily Meals

Obviously, I’m too chicken-shit to post this on the MDA forums as of now.  Even when I try to post something HELPFUL, people don’t seem to respond well to my ideas, but I always try to respect others and not kick up trouble.

That being said, I took a brief hiatus from the site last week, just because some of the things I read were making me so angry.  I understand, of course, that everyone has the right to express their opinion.  But there are so many posts out there, a pretty good majority, where people are just “talking to hear themselves talk”.  They offer no real information, and often incite bad feelings.  It’s like being on a megaphone saying “I’m better than you, I’m more Paleo than you, I look down on you for missing bread and brownies” ect.

This pisses me off for two reasons:

1)  People seem to forget that at one time, they used to believe conventional wisdom (CW).  Who among us used to think that rolled oats were a healthy way to start a day?  That breakfast was the most important meal, and should NEVER be skipped?  That the majority of your diet should be made of healthy, whole grain carbohydrates?  That we need to graze on 6 mini meals a day?  Give me a break.  Now that you know “the truth”, stop acting like you’re so much better than everyone else.  Get your nose out of the sky and chill out.  And HELP other people…when they ask for it.  When they need it.  Stop preaching.  Would you want a vegan to preach to you?  Or an extreme bodybuilder, who regiments every single thing he puts in his mouth?  Yea, well those people have every right to defend and believe in how they’re eating as well.   So get over feeling like you’re better than everyone else.

2) Just…shut the fuck up.

If there is a post about “Food I miss since I’ve been Primal”, you should do one of the following things

• read the posts about people wishing they could eat a bowl of cereal
• commisserate with these people and say “oh, I miss X, Y, and Z too!”
• disagree (in you head) and get out of that thread

Don’t get on there and say “OMG well I never miss ANY food and you shouldn’t either because you should be developing a stronger willpower and blah blah blah”

Wow, thanks for the lack of pertinent information.

If there is a post about cheat meals or primal baking and you want to get on and write “Man, I can’t/don’t do cheat days anymore – I always felt like crap afterwards!” ok, go for it.  That’s good to know.  Not everyone can pull off a cheat day without feeling nasty afterwards – me included .

But don’t write “OMG I NEVER do cheat days and you shouldn’t either!  How dare anyone let anything like sugar or 1/2 piece of pie or a bite of cookie enter their bodies because it is POISON you are all LESSER THAN PRIMAL if you eat that shit!”

Wow.  Thanks for making everyone else feel like an asshole.  In my opinion that’s not what this community is for.

Life is about joy, and when you develop a healthy relationship with food you should be able to treat yourself to a slice of cheesecake or a cookie every now and then, if that is what brings you joy (and, obviously, if you don’t have a disease/disorder/allergy that will not cause you to become dangerously ill if you eat it).  I love baking, and I will never deprive myself of making something every once in a while.  And Hell, if I want to sit down a couple times a year and eat a whole damn cheesecake in one sitting I’d do it and not feel any less “Paleo”, considering that one meal is stacked up against about 10000 others made up of vegetables, fat, and meat.

If someone writes a detailed post about how they’ve been listening to their body and now, to lose the last 5-10 lbs, feel like they have to count calories, and in the post several times they say that they’ve been eating intuitively for months now and it isn’t working for them, it’s kind of douchey to get on and just write “Oh, I NEVER count calories LOL sux 4 you! !”  Seriously?  That’s all you have to add?  Just throwing it back in someone’s face, without even a shred of encouragement or advice?  Um….ok.

So for fuck’s sake, people, have your own opinions.  And post them, by all means.  I have no problem with people expressing their opinions, even if they’re not what I agree with whatsoever.  Just stop posting useless information, and calling other people out because they’re not “Primal” enough for you.  It’s enough to make me leave these forums, which I used to get some much great information and inspiration from.

Because at the end of the day, I’m a God-fearing woman.  I am hard working.  I try my best to help others.  I give back to the community.  I love passionately with everything in me.

So if you think I’m a lesser person than you because I want or partake in a slice of pizza, than you can go screw yourself .

TMI/FYI alert – here are the parts of my body where I’m “feelin’ it”:

• My hamstrings (good God)
• My booty – especially right underneath, where the gluteus meets the hammies.  Oof.
• My lower back
• My traps
• My biceps
• My stomach (though I believe this is from the RIDICULOUS amount of Stomach Vacuuming I’ve been doing…)

It’s a good soreness.  Enough for me to know that stuff is going on, but not enough to immobilize me or impede in my life.  When I was doing SimpleFit, I got a little sore, but mostly in my chest and a little in my back.  I’m liking this feeling.

Tomorrow I’m undertaking the first Density Training.  Looking forward to it, but I hope that I’ve got my starting weights figured out correctly.  Also a little concerned about the set and rest times – I know I’m going to get confused throughout the program.  Because the times vary so much, there’s no way I can possibly set up an interval timer.  So what I’ve been doing is just using the timer on my iPhone and just trying my best to pay attention to the time.  Very scientific, I know.

Overall, today was a great day.  It’s amazing to me how I can go from periods of ravenous hunger to just being able to abstain from any and all tempting foods.  A jar of honey roasted peanuts (my ultimate weakness) sat on the counter and I just ignored them .

Daily Schedule

Daily Meals

Yesterday I completed the first day of Final Phase Fat Loss, and it was a DOOZY.

I’m having a hard time deciding what to share and what not to share, considering this is a paid program.  And to be honest, the whole program is the workouts themselves.  So I don’t think it’s right for me to post a detailed description of what my workouts are….because then you could just copy exactly what I’m doing and not even get the program haha.  I’m not trying to get in trouble here, guys.  But I will share with you the science and basics behind each type of workout.

For a incredibly well written and detailed explanation of all of this, check out Thor Falk’s blog.  Seriously – he’s done such an excellent job describing all of this, I can’t even begin to do it justice .  He’s gone to incredible lengths detailing the science and mechanics of the program.  Check out his posts here:

“Spot Fat Reduction” Post 1

“Spot Fat Reduction” Post 2

Density Training Log

Density Training Description (Corresponds to above log)

Further Information on Density Training

Designing your own Spot Reduction Workouts

To give you a very short description of what this program is:

Romaniello has designed this program specifically for people who have somewhere between the last 5-20 lbs to lose.  Not that someone with more weight won’t benefit, but the perfect customer, to him, is someone who has lost weight but is clinging onto it on their “trouble” areas.  Romaniello states that according to science, these trouble areas are each the result of a specific hormone, and by doing different types of workouts we can specifically target each of these hormones.  They are:

- Insulin - responsible for Love Handles and Back Fat, spot targeted with Dynamic Training

-Cortisol - responsible for Belly Fat, spot targeted with Lactic Acid Training

-Estrogen – responsible for Thighs, Hips, Booty and “Man Boobs”, spot targeted with Density Training

Each type of workout has a different cadence, a different type of sets or intervals, a different rest pattern.  In addition, Romaniello adds a fourth Workout day, of regular ol’ Strength Training

This leads to 4 different workouts a week and one HIIT session.  So 5 wake-up and workout days a week.

————

So yesterday (Monday) was the first DYNAMIC workout.  Including the warm up, the workout took me about 45 minutes to complete.  So far, here’s what I feel about the Pros and Cons of that workout, and the program in general:

PROS

• It really was a great workout!  Fun, fast paced, and I felt it!
• I worked up a great sweat and was definitely winded by the end of workout.
• (Could be a pro or a con) – there are a wide variety of exercises included in the program and in each workout.  After two weeks of SimpleFit (and I love SimpleFit, don’t get me wrong) I certainly felt more challenged and that I was covering more bases with this workout.

CONS

• Romaniello prints incorrect instructions in half of his materials.  For example, in the main Ebook, he’ll recommend a 30 second rest period, but in the printable Training Sheets, the same rest period is listed for, say, 75 seconds.  This happens a few times and is confusing to say the least.
• Unless you are well versed in fast-paced interval workouts and know your physical strength quite well, you have to take some good time studying the exercises and workout as a whole.  There are multiple rest period lengths – both between exercises and between circuits – and remembering how long to rest at each point can get confusing.  I screwed this up a couple of times for Monday’s workout.
• Not only should you study the cadence of the workouts, you should take some time each day before the next workout to get a feel for how much weight to use for each exercise.  There are a specific number of reps you should be able to complete in each set, and using a weight too heavy or too light could compromise a set you could have completed to the best of your ability (that make sense?)

It seems like the Cons outweigh the Pros, but overall I am really enjoying this challenging program.  What this does point out, though, is who this program is for.

This program is perfect for:

• Someone who has the time to dedicate about an hour to working out (5 x a week for 6 weeks, 4 x a week for 8 weeks)
• Someone who has additional time to focus on learning and memorizing a new workout EVERY DAY.  Yes, there are 4 new workouts a week for six weeks.  This could take anywhere from minutes to hours, depending on your intrinsic knowledge of your potential and exercise in general
• Someone who understands the basic form involved in a variety of full body movements, such as squats, lunges, presses, ect.  An exercise book (with pictures and descriptions) is included with the package, but it can be unwieldy to navigate.  Some of the exercises are missing and it’s difficult to find ones you are looking for (sometimes they’re even under a different name in the exercise book and the main Ebook).

This program is NOT for:

• Someone who is completely new to exercise.  This is just my opinion.  You’d be better off easing your way into this after learning correct form for simple compound body movements and interval training
• Someone who doesn’t yet have the stamina and concentration to quickly move from one exercise to another…over the period of 45 minutes.  I’d say this is definitely an intermediate to advanced program.  Not so much due to the nature of the program itself, but more due to the fact that you have to be on top of everything yourself.  You don’t have a DVD or an interval timer to let you know how long the varied rest breaks are.
• Someone who does not have access to a gym or a pretty well-stocked home gym.  Romaniello says that “bodyweight exercises can be substituted for an exercise in the program”, but he doesn’t indicate what the substitutes are.  So unless you want to spend hours reconfiguring your own program (which, to be honest, would just defeat the purpose of buying to begin with), you need to have at least a few pairs of dumbbells, or at best a set of adjustable dumbbells.

FYI – I’ve only done this program for two days, and I’ve used:

• Adjustable Dumbbells
• Inflatable Swiss Ball
• Adjustable Kettlebell
• Pull up Bar

————–

Today I woke up and completed the first LACTIC ACID Workout.  Ooooo boy.  Felt this one!  My hammys and booty have been a-painin’.  Also might have strained my back a bit with some deadlifts, but I’ll be alright.  I’m going to do some gravity stretches for my back tonight.

Overall, I really like the structure of the Lactic Acid Workouts.  Today’s workout, again, took me roughly 45 minutes.

I won’t lie though – I’m looking forward to a rest day tomorrow .

————

Daily Meals:

MONDAY, MAR 23

TUESDAY, MAR 22

Additional Nom-Worthy Mentions:

-I’ve stared using Mimiccream in my coffee rather than the coconut creamer.  It’s certainly different, though very pleasant.  I enjoy it.  It’s very nutty, and kind of smokey.

-I’ve been trying to up my fat, so instead of just eating Coconut Oil by the tablespoon I decided to make some Coconut Bark yesterday.  SUCH A GOOD IDEA – it’s an incredible treat! Just:

• Melt 1 TB (or more, it’s up to you) of Coconut Oil in the microwave (1 TB = ~15-18 seconds)
• If desired, add mix ins.  Monday I added a tiny bit of Stevia and Cocoa Powder, a splash of Vanilla Extract and a pinch of Sea Salt.  Today, I added a tiny bit of Stevia, a splash of Vanilla, a pinch of Sea Salt and 1 TB of Almond Butter.  Uh. Maze. Ing.
• Pop it in the fridge for 10-15 minutes.  Mine works out well because I just make it in a little ramekin, so it freezes up really nicely.  It’s about 1/8-1/4 inch thick.  And delightful.

-Made some Vegan/Paleo Pesto today with:

• 1.5 Cups Fresh Basil
• .5 Cup Fresh Cilantro
• .75 Cup Walnuts (Soaked Overnight and Toasted)
• 2 TB Lemon Juice
• ~1/4 Cup Water
• 1/2 Cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• 3 Cloves Garlic
• Splash of Xylitol Maple Syrup

First blend the toasted nuts in a food processor (I had to use a blender, which made it much more difficult).  Then add the basil and cilantro and blend further.  If you have a crappy blender like me, you’ll have to add some water to facilitate blending.  Add garlic and lemon juice.  Blend again.  Finally, while blending, slowly pour olive oil in.  I added a tiny bit of sweetener to mine because it kind of tasted “off” – I’m not sure if I toasted the nuts wrong or if the cilantro was funky or something, but that little bit of sweetener went a long way .